I’ve been considerably absent from Change But The Name for a few months. I have none other than me, myself, and bipolar disorder to thank for this. This has resulted in unemployment, insecurity, and a lot of self-care.
Anyway, Matt’s been asking for me to post something.
In response to my mood swings I’ve taken to painting. Up until this point in my life, I was never a painter. My shaky hands, a deeply ingrained need for perfection, and the fear of a hypothetical image created with my hands attempting to live up to the idea in my head, rendered me useless. I made sure to avoid the act, and be, very strictly, a writer.
After publishing my first collection of poetry, I stopped writing. Words weren’t enough, and being unable to focus on much other than creating art, I turned to drawing. It started with doodling. I allowed myself to experience myself without any concept of what I can or can’t do for the first time in a long time. In turn I ended up processing some things about who I am that were pretty hard to swallow.
Now, I can joke with myself through paint, which is actually really nice. It’s a place without any sense of limitation, and sometimes a simple distraction.
So, ladies, gentlemen, and Matt, I present to you: art.