PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: We (John and Randi) are going to make an exception with respect to standard professional protocol and here, before the inclusion of the episode itself, allow a break of the fourth wall and accept without complaint any ensuing judgements you care to point in our direction.

In acknowledgement of the deeply personal nature of this first interview, it is with a seriousness in  perfect diametric opposition to what may seem like hype or hyperbole that we say:

It is impossible to overstate the level of both the gratitude we feel and the sincerity of this THANK YOU we hereby force upon Olivia Smith for volunteering to be our first guest for the CBTN Interview series.  We’re making her suffer through our public, uncomfortably effusive admirations because she belongs to that endangered altruistic taxon “persons who truly would not want them.

So, in preempting her anticipated resistance to a moment of genuine honor, we’d like to share that in our getting to know one another Olivia has demonstrated a fearless honesty and virtuosic ability to explore the limits of her own mind. These intrinsic qualities and hard-earned understandings are distributed through recorded human histories with a rareness just short of asymptotic infinity – and yet Olivia remains, by her nature and self-awareness, truly unable to consider (let alone accept) the awesome potential she has already evidenced at just eighteen years old.

That the two of us, having pledged to side with no truth but the Truth nor defer to a human will at the expense of our own, find no hypocrisy nor logical contradiction in our first act of this collective endeavor being a respectful genuflection before the future we know Olivia and her to-be-determined allied leaders will come to shape.

And, as a final weirdness we know Olivia at least will understand – this admission:

That our favorite, most self-satisfying hope for the future is that you might one day return the spirit of this thanks by taking from us, violently and for yourself, ownership of whatever thing from which by then we will need to be freed; and, from your won position move forward as you know to be right until another you have likewise thanked, with that same violent spirit, releases you from that unfair awareness of knowing what needs to be done, knowing you need to be the one to do it, and knowing if you choose to do what is needed, you may not quit, ever, for any reason.

But don’t feel too much pressure – this whole acknowledgement can be read as manic delusion or depressive devolution.  What we’re really trying to say is, it’s not what we say about you or how we say it that matters.

Just that you do.

CHANGE BUT THE NAME is privileged to release it’s first pilot episode of the INTERVIEWS series. Hosts John Ward, CPS and Randi Fellows, CPS sit down with high school student and film guru Olivia Smith, who at eighteen years old willingly opens herself up about her Bipolar diagnosis, attempted suicide, her self-awareness of her attraction to dark and disturbing films, and how it all ties together with her evolving and exceptionally lucid understanding of mental health.


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